Da Bears & Da Kids?

Just a random thought:  Anybody know where I can purchase tranquilizer darts that can be jettisoned from a long tube?  I’m thinking of an Aboriginal Dart Gun.  I dreamed of this overnight.  I can see it now: My husband and I have everything on our bodies crossed, intently watching Da Bears vs. The Colts  when our oldest daughter stomps into the living room, whining, “Mom! Rosie’s trying to take my…”  Thwack.  A tranquilizer dart hits her in the neck before she can even finish the sentence.  Her eyes roll back in her head as her body quietly slumps to the floor.  DH says: “Oh, look.  Did we forget that it was naptime? Damn!”  I kindly place a pillow under Halie’s head and throw a blanket over her and am not disturbed by her sudden lack-of-consciousness.  That’s the point where I wake up.  With a smirk on my face.

Do me a favor, those of you who do not know my daughters: pry your hand from your precious pearls and listen to me carefully.  I do not refer to my girls as ‘Circus Monkeys’ in my blog to insinuate that they are anything less than joyful.  They have that much curiosity and that much energy and yes, that much mischevious spirit.  I allow them to intimidate me…maybe push me to the limits of my sanity.  I love them, and if my house is a zoo, then so be it!

 I know that my dream of using tranquilizers is far from noble in regards to loving parenthood. My own mother and I laugh at stories about our yearly two-day train trips to Chicago in the 80’s, of which I can only vaguely remember the first of, thanks to Benadryl (or as I call it: legal pediatric sedative).  I have to tell you the truth of our plan for watching the Superbowl next weekend.  Our three daughters (8, 6 and 3, respectively) will most likely sit in their pre-ordained spots on the sofa, not because they are so thrilled by watching grown men in tight pants handle a pigskin, but mostly because they know they need to be seated close to the half-time snacks to even hope for a bite or two. 

Most women dread football season.  The females in my house LOVE it.  It is almost guaranteed that DH will make something to feed us all!

It’s all over after Da Bears win the Superbowl next weekend. At least until next August!

Advertisements