So I’m a little cynical today…

A friend from my childhood posted this today.  It suits my mood today, and I like my friend, so of course, I copied itThanks Mer!

TEN THINGS TO PONDER

 #10 Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die #8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

#6 Some people are like a Slinky… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing

#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???

#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND # 1: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven’t a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Hi. I’m Erin, and I watched Jackass 2.

Crowd answers: Hi Erin.

I feel like I should attend a 12-step meeting  [much love and respect for those using the 12-steps 😉 ].  Not because I watched the entire movie.  Not because I laughed so hard. Because I cannot get the freaking bad boys’ bare a$$es out of my mind.  I lost count of how many times the bare buns and naked gen@tali@ were showcased.  I spent most of the movie either trying not to laugh obnoxiously or vomit.  One prank (the funniest, IMHO) involved the group of guys shaving a portion of their private parts body hair and giving the resulting harvest to a professional ‘makeup artist’ who then glued the coarse hairs onto a man’s face as part of a disguise.  I just about peed my pants  I was laughing hysterically!  The movie only got more vulgar from that point on…

The next night, my DH and I watched Clerks II.  Same gross humor, minus the stunts.

So, my question is: Are there anonymous meetings for grown women who have a teenage-boy-prankster sense of humor?  I think I need help!