Essential Appendages

I know that my mother had eyes in the back of her head. Since becoming a mother seven years ago, mine have developed quite nicely. My mother only had the two of us, my sister and I, so she only needed her two arms to handle us. I, on the other hand, had to push the limits and have three daughters.
I am thinking that a third arm should be included in the ‘Motherhood Package’ when you invest so much in ‘purchasing’ the third infant. When crossing the massive church parking lot (fellowshipchurch.com), Sweet Pea is relegated to keeping a tight hold on the hem of my shirt or the rear pocket of my jeans. I once said aloud during the journey, “Too bad I don’t have three arms!” Sweet Pea replied with quite a snappy comeback, saying, Yeah, Mommy, because it could grow out of your back and have a hand to spank you when you’re wrong!” Oh boy. I think I beat myself up enough as it is.
My daughters are mimicking me when I see them use their teeth as a third hand. I use them to hold the napkins when I’m setting the table and to hold the new diaper as I’m removing the dirty diaper and doctoring Stinker’s bottom. Teaching by example, I guess.
Any other moms have additions to the ‘Motherhood Package’? Leave them in Comments and I’ll post them!

Theresa said…
I wanted another SET of arms! And a built-in loudspeaker, and buttons I could push that would start instructional videos, or lectures, so I could just go about my business at the same time! πŸ˜€
Jenn said…
How about an extra head so one of us can take a nap or eat a hot meal?
Zephra said…
All terribly wonderful ideas. I have always wanted some kind of telescoping switch so that I could spank the kids without getting up. And maybe a shock collar for the kids to wear that would go off whenever they argue with each other. Gosh, that makes me sound like I like to hurt my kids.

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4 Comments

  1. Theresa said,

    January 11, 2006 at 8:53 am

    I wanted another SET of arms! And a built-in loudspeaker, and buttons I could push that would start instructional videos, or lectures, so I could just go about my business at the same time! πŸ˜€

  2. Jenn said,

    January 11, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    How about an extra head so one of us can take a nap or eat a hot meal?

  3. Zephra said,

    January 11, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    All terribly wonderful ideas. I have always wanted some kind of telescoping switch so that I could spank the kids without getting up. And maybe a shock collar for the kids to wear that would go off whenever they argue with each other. Gosh, that makes me sound like I like to hurt my kids.

  4. January 13, 2006 at 12:40 am

    how about the ability to be patient after the 147th “MOMMY” in under three seconds?


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