More Traumatic Brain Injury symptoms

I have continued to research TBI symptoms in my free time. I know, you’re wondering, ‘What free time?’ That’s exactly why my research is progressing at a snail’s pace. I regularly visit where the most current discoveries regarding TBIs are posted. Today, instead of reading the other miraculous stories, I looked at the standard illustrations dividing the brain. When one lobe of your brain is injured, major components of your everyday behavior change. My brain was injured in the left temporal lobe when my head broke the driver side window at the moment of impact during the car accident in 2003. That particular portion of the brain controls short and long-term memory, and injury can increase or decrease sex drive, as well as magnify aggressive behaviors. Though I function in my role as full-time mother to my three daughters, wife to my husband, keeper of our home, et cetera, I do find it stressful. Very stressful. I’m wondering if the injury I suffered might be causing my inability to handle stress. Let me define what I find very frustrating: Halie asks for stickers, and while I’m reminding her of what happened to the last pack of stickers that I bought, Catie begins to wail that she stepped on something that injured her foot and that she needs a bandage, Rosie, in the melee, had waddled up to my side and is ‘signing’ desperately that she needs a drink of water. Instantly, I am completely overwhelmed. My reasoning short-circuits at a moment like that one. It’s as if my brain just wants to yell, “Calgon, Take me away!” I only wish that my brain could verbalize those feelings. Instead, I just scream, and my kiddos run to their respective beds. Then I cry. And Cry. I feel like a monster.
I’m so glad that my daughters know the concept of apologies and forgiveness. When I ask forgiveness of the girls, they will knock down anything (read: anyone) in the rush to wrap their arms around my neck and tell me those sweet words, “I forgive you, Mommy.”

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that I need to write on my heart:

Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.


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